Ok, so.. Gibberish and shock.

That was pretty much what my last post was about. Well, I shouldn't say gibberish, more of a ramble based on emotions. Today I talked to her for a bit and things were more... Rational in my mind. Even though I still don't understand one of the reasons she had for breaking up with me. She's depressed and needs time to herself, which I totally understand to a 100%. The part I can not for the life of me figure out is that she said she hadn't loved anyone as much as she loved me. Then she also said that she doesn't think that we could ever be together because we're too different. Upon asking how we're different, there was no answer except that it "feels like it". I really don't get that at all. I really, really though we had something special, and I could really see a future with her, and I still can if she should decide to change her mind. To me, we were getting along so well, and her kids really seemed to like me too, as I did them. We had planned on spending Christmas ever togehter, but I guess that's down the gutter now, so I'll guess that I'll spending it alone this year. And that really sucks, because I was really looking forward to that, to spending the winter with her and her kids. Playing out in the snow with them and all that. I had so much hope for us, I really did.

I've never felt the way I do for her before, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that she'll get better and maybe want to try again. Because if she does love me the way she says she does, I can't really see any reason for us not being together.

Although it would probably be stupid to hope for anything along those lines. I guess I'm not destined to be loved. I just give and give and give, but always seem to get thrown away. 

"Love youuuuuu!" :).

You know...

That thing about me being happy? Well scratch that. My... I guess ex-girlfriend now just texted me and I guess she broke up with me. And once again I'm left here a hollow shell of a man not knowing what the hell is going on. What's wrong with me? What is it about me that makes everyone I love turn away from me?! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?! Just like the last time I was dumped by a text message, I really have no idea what the hell is going on. I mean, everything was fine, I was in love and so was she.. Or at least I though she was. She dropped that bomb on me and the went on to say that she can't talk right now because she isn't at home and asked if we couldn't talk in a few days. Now what does that mean? Is this a repeat of last time? It sure as hell wouldn't surprise me if it was... How the fucking hell can you do that to someone?! Jesus Christ... I guess it's back to being depressed for about half a year now again.. Wohoooo! Fucking great. And just when I thought she loved me as much as I loved her...

Well I'm off to bed to cry myself to sleep now... Laters.

Waves of nothingness, and then some!

Have you ever heard a song or a piece of music that just enthralls you with it's sheer beauty? I have, and I just did. I had put on my Spotify playlist on random as I was messing around trying to organize my closet and a small little room I have in my kitchen. Anyway, while I was out taking a break and having a smoke, this song started. And it always has the same effect on me, I immediately got goosebumps all over my body. The thing is, I don't really associate this song with any fond memories, nor does it make me think of anything special. Yet it has this effect on me. I find it fascinating that a piece of music can do this to you, that someone has put together a bunch of notes that later becomes soundwaves affecting your entire body.

So what else is new, you ask? Well, you probably aren't asking, but you know what? I'm going to tell you anyway! The short answer would be; Not a whole lot. Life just keeps on rolling along as it always has, which is a good thing, because I'm enjoying the hell out of it right now. So from that I guess you could deduce that I am still in a general happy mood, still very much in love and just loving the shit out of everything right now. Well, except for a few things, but who the hell cares, right?

Also, it is November and anyone remotely interested in video games knows what that means. We're all broke-ass-broke, because all the big games decide to come out this month. Or maybe it's just me that's stupi enough to buy them all? Hmm, quite the conundrum... Anyway, I've been playing a whole hell of a lot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim since this Monday, and put about 60 hours into it so far. And I'm showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. Some might think that makes me a crazy person, but I assure you, I am not! (You'll see! You'll all see!) No, the reason I've been playing so much of it is simply because it is god damned really fucking great game. It's as simple as that. I'm playing as a Dark Elf who is currently at level 29 and is primarily a mage/rogue type thing. I use a lot of spells, a lot of one handed weapons and a lot of bows, so I'm whatever that makes me. Also, to give you a sense of how insanely huge this game is, I've barely touched the main quests, even though I've spent 60 hours in the game doing subquests and miscellaneous quests (kind of sub-subquests). How's that for a metric shit-ton of content?

And right after I'm done with that (if ever) I've also gotten myself Assassin's Creed: Revelations, which I haven't even touched yet. Although I've heard mostly good things, there has been some negativity directed towards it. Mainly about it not being as revealing as the title suggests and that it kind of feels like we've had enough of Ezio. I'm still looking forward to playing it though, so here's hoping.


Oh, and I've also started listening to vinyl records, something I regret I haven't done before. Because the quality of those records, god damnit and jesus christ! It is so much better than both CD's and mp3's. So now I've got a player right next to my monitor and I've bought a couple of vinyls of my own. Though I've only gotten 2 of the 4 vinyls I've ordered.

And lastly but definitely not leastly. My first official christmas decoration is up!

Peace out, bitches!