Yeah, it happened. My ex has apparantly fallen in love again and is currently in a relationship with some other dude. I really don't know what to feel about it, on the one hand, I'm happy because she's happy. But mostly, I'm just fucking pissed off. That just shows how much (or rather little) she ever cared about me. If you're able to go from what we had to being in a relationship this short a time after we broke up, you are a fucking liar. For how long did she string me along before she broke it off? For how long did she lie to me when she said she loved me? Does she enjoy making me feel like complete shit? Does she even understand how fucking incredibly miserable and heartbroken I've been?
I hope that she does one day, and maybe then I could at least get some god damned emotion out of her. I'm not saying I want her back, I'm just fucking pissed off at her behavior towards me the last couple of weeks. Now this comes along and I really don't know what to think. Was it all a lie? Did she ever love me at all? Does she even know what love is?
What I felt for her was real, deep love on the level of "I would fucking give my own life to be with you". And I really would, I would have given up everything for her. She on the other hand... Probably not.
So anyway, right now, I just want to meet her, trade our stuff and talk to her about what's happened. But according to her, not enough time has passed for that. Really? Fucking REALLY?! Not enough time has passed for you to just meet the person you've claimed to be in love with for two and a half years, but enough time has passed for you to fall in love and be in a relationship with someone else? Does that make sense to anyone? Because it sure as hell doesn't to me.
I hope you're happy now, Angelica. I really do. Just understand or at least try to understand what you've done to me, and how you've completely and utterly broken me down. I loved you deeply and truly, with all of my being. And I would have given up my whole life just to be with you, even life itself. I just hope that you realise what it is you've thrown away.
2 comments:
Love hurts and I know how hard it is to let someone go and how hard it is not to be pissed off at someone... I've been betrayed like that aswell, with someone I was ready to have kids with (and you know how I feel about kids now!), so yeah...I'm feeling your pain and I hope you won't stay bitter at her for too long, it only waste your energy *hugs*
Thankyou Linda... I was coming out of my depressed state, I really was. Now this happened and I fear I may be heading back to it again... I just don't understand. Were we even in the same relationship? Did she ever love me? Did she even lie to me? Urrghh, I don't know what to do with myself. I fucking hate it!
Thankyou for the huggies though :).
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