In the summertime, when the weather is fine.

So, since I last wrote anything in this blog of mine, summer has come and almost gone already. And for me, this summer has been a great one. I've been up to all sorts of shenanigans, I've played some games, spent a couple of weeks at my girlfriends house, gotten myself pet rats and.. Well that's pretty much it.

So yeah, I spent about 3 weeks at my girlfriends house with her and her family. It was awesome! She lives in Gävle, which is now the most northern point in Sweden that I've ever been. I felt a bit like Sam in The Fellowship of The Ring when he's just setting out on his journey with Frodo. "If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been". Which isn't quite true for me, since I've been to France, which is much further away than Gävle. But if we're strictly talking within the confines of Sweden, it's very true. So that's awesome! Anyway, those three weeks turned out great. I got along really well with her family and all of their pets, which includes four dogs and... I don't remember how many, but a lot of pet rats :D. At first I didn't think I'd be able to handle it as well as I did, since I have "issues" when it comes to travelling long distances and being away from home. But it worked out fantastically, the trip went perfect, I didn't panic about not being close to home and yeah, I got along really well with everyone. And even though we didn't particularly do anything while I was there, I had a really good time. I guess that goes to show that if you're with someone you love, it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you're together. Other than that, it was also nice to be able to see another part of Sweden.

Oh, right! While we were up there in Gävle, I actually saw my first movie in 3D, which was cool and all. But with all the hype that's been on the media about 3D, I honeslt expected more than what it was. I mean, sure, cool effects and all, but I could have been just as happy about seeing the movie in regular old ass 2D. The movie we saw was The Amazing Spider-Man, which wasn't quite as amazing as the title would suggest, but it was alright.

That wasn't the only place where I was with my girlfriend though, as before we took the trip up to Gävle, she spent about three weeks with me at my place, and after Gävle, she came down with me for another two weeks. So I've pretty much spent the entire summer with her, which is just awesome!

When she came with me back home again, we also brought two of her pet rats with us and they are now settled in with me. They really seem to like their new home and the much calmer environment. Even if they constantly argue with eachother about who's the boss. From what I've heard, though, that's just what rats do. It's a constant struggle for dominance between them, but at least they aren't doing it to hurt eachother, so it's a fairly normal thing for rats to do. Furthermore, I really like having pets, even if they aren't a cat which I had my mind set on. My rats are just so damned cute that it doesn't matter.


Other than all that, I've listened to a lot of vinyl records that my dad gave me, bought some new ones and some old ones to add to my collection. And you know, I really can't go back to mp3's now. I mean sure, I can listen to mp3's if I have to, but if I have the option I'll just buy the album vinyl. Why? Because as I've written in a previous post, the quality is just... Fantastic! It's like night and day in comparison. Even CD's doesn't even come close to the quality to that of a vinyl record. Not only that, but listening to an album on vinyl really does have a certain feel about it. It's like you're kind of forced to really listen to what you're hearing. Well, you're not forced, but I guess what I'm saying is that you can't just skip songs. And that's something you should never do when listening to an album you haven't heard before. You can miss so much of what the band/artists are actually trying to say through their music.

Speaking of which, I've ordered the new Gojira album, which is just... An amazing album. I highly recommend that you all listen to it. It has been a long time since music made me feel the way I do when I listen to it.

I've also spent a lot of time with one of.. Well the only close friend I really have, and that's always awesome. I'm happy that he and his girlfriend, which I also consider my friend are in my life. As there are few (none) people that I'd rather spend time with.

On a more weird and , sadder note as regards to friends. One of my older friends with whom I don't spend much time with anymore, has seemingly begun to dislike having me around. Which is just... Weird, and sad. Because even if I don't spend a lot of time with him anymore, I've always considered him as a close friend, since we've known eachother since first grade. Lately though, it's as he doesn't want anything to do with me, which actually hurts me a lot. I don't know where that came from or what it's about. Hopefully it'll change and we might get a chance to talk about it, but as it is now, it's just... weird. I hope it turns out for the better though, because I really don't want to lose him as a friend.


Right then! Games! To be honest, I really haven't played all that much during the summer. I guess it's a combination of there simply not being anything of interest out during the summer and me spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. Although I did buy and play The Amazing Spider-Man while I was in Gävle, and just as it's move counterpart, it's not as amazing as the title would suggest. It was fun though, and it had a lot in common with the last Spider-Man game I played, Spider-Man 2 for the Xbox. Just swinging around the city is surprisingly fun in both.

Other than that, I've recently started playing Persona 4 for the PS2 (even though I'm playing on my PS3) and that game is... Weird. I like it though, as I'm still playing it. It's like a mix of traditional JRPG's and a social sim, which makes for an odd combination, but as I said, it's really fun. Also, the games reaks of Japan, which is always funny in it's own odd way.




I guess that's it for this time. I've had a great summer, and I feel like I've grown as a person during it.

Oh and if you're wondering about the title, It's from an old song which I'm guessing everyone has heard, In The Summertime by Mungo Jerry. But more importantly, I chose that because of an awesome cover that Todd Hansen recently did. Even if it isn't the same song, that song reminded me of the song I'm referencing in my title. It's weird, I know, but there you go. That, and it's true. The weather is fine in the summertime :D.


Til next time, peace!

So, it's been a while. Again.

Since the last time I wrote here, there's been a lot going on in my life. Kind of. The reason for this abscense is mainly due to me not having dealt with the breakup of me and my ex girlfriend. Even though I said I was over, I wasn't. I just didn't feel like writing anything, because anything I could write about has already been written. With that said, now I really am over her. I am over her, but not it, because I'm still really hurt by the way she treated me. And I still really miss her kids sometimes. Though from what I hear, they're all doing great, so I'm happy for them. And I'm happy with my own life and myself as well.

So what I have been up to? Well, the usual I guess, playing games, sitting around, studying math and hanging with friends. On top of that, a while ago I was introduced to a group of people on Skype through a friend of mine. For a while, this group of people were really awesome, and I looked forward to talking to them every day, which we did. We all worked really good together and it was fun. Not too long after that, everything started going to shit, and I guess partly due to me doing what I did.

Among this little group, there was one person who I got a strange attraction to. We got along really well and had an easy time talking about pretty much anything, which we did. This lead to us feeling really comfortable with each other and joking about stuff. One thing we used to joke about was how we could have sex and kiss and how much we loved each other and such. But because I was in a relationship with the person who introduced me to the group, it was questioned by another certain person in the group. To which I answered something along the lines of "Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her". This, at the time, was of course all jokes. But it sure as hell was not appreciated by my then girlfriend. Which I fully understand, and I shouldn't have acted the way I did, even if it were all jokes and fun.

During this time I was together with the friend who introduced me to the group on Skype. Me and her had been seeing each other occaisonally for a while and we decided to be a couple. A decision that was poorly made on both our parts, I think. Sure, I had feelings for her, but I guess they weren't what I thought they were. Only about two or three weeks into that relationship, we talked about it and came to the conclusion that we weren't actually in love with each other and decided to end it. This was true for me the whole time, but I'm not sure it was for her. I wouldn't even count it as a real relationship, because it sure didn't feel like it.

After all of that, me and the person whom I connected really well with got much closer. We started talking on Skype in private, away from the group. And this in turn led to jealousy (I think) from the person who I referred to as "this certain person". A while after that, me and Johanna (the one I got close to) decided that we would meet in real life. So, upon learning this, the jealous person and my I guess ex-girlfriend (even though I don't count her as one) started conspiring against both me and Johanna. They actively tried to ruin our relationship, going behind our backs and more or less making stuff up about me to scare Johanna off from meeting me.

Anyway, all of this has lead to me not talking to either my friend, nor the group on Skype. What I have walked with though, is a new love. In case it wasn't blatantly obvious, it's Johanna, who is now my girlfriend. And the main reason for me feeling generally happy again.

So, while it sucks that some people are so selfish that they want to ruin other peoples' lives, I really don't want anything to do with people that are like that. Still, it's a shame things turned out the way they did. But I'm happy, I've met someone I've fallen in love with, and someone that loves being with me as much as I love being with her. So in the end, it's all good.

Until next time, have a good one!

By the Swedes, for the Swedes.

So I just finished playing through The Darkness again. I haven't touched it since I finished it the last time, which was back in 2007 when it was released. I still think it's a fantastic and heavily underappreciated game.

Anyway, since the game is made by Starbreeze Studios, a swedish developer, there is a lot of grafitti and lettering spread about the game that is in swedish. So while playing through it this time, I acitvely looked for swedish words around the world. This is what I found.

"HATA ALLA!" Or "Hate everyone!".

"AIK", A swedish soccer team.

Hard to make out, but it says "Katt", which means "Cat".

"TANT", a word used in swedish for "old lady".

"SLAKT". Which means "Slaughter".

Not really swedish words, but at least it's swedish something. It says "Swedish Smorgasbord take-out" :D.

"Herr. A". Which is pretty much "Mr. A".

Not really a swedish word either, but "øl" is Danish for "Beer".

"Bjorn", almost "Björn", which means "Bear".

"STATY!", meaning "Statue!". And "FRITÖS?", meaning "Fryer?".

Advertisement for some band called "POLIS BATONG", which means "Police baton".

"STHLM". And Abbreviation for "Stockholm".

"ruttengubbe", basically meaning something along the lines of "rotten old man".

Not really a word, but a name. "Krille P". "Krille" is a common nickname for someone named "Kristian".

An english and a swedish word. "FOLK", meaning "People".
 

"GULDTAND", meaning "Gold tooth".

"LÅST", meaning "Locked".

"RUMPA", meaning "Ass". As in, someone's ass, not someone being an ass.

"Skurk!", basically meaning "Thief", "Bad guy" or "Villain".

I don't think this is an actual word, but it says "Läskväska" which would mean something like "Soda bag".

"Hårdrock", meaning "Hard rock". As in music, not an actual rock.

A picture of a bear with the word "Björn", meaning "Bear".

"KULT", meaning "Cult". Or it could mean that something has had a cultural impact on society.

"BÄVER", meaning "Beaver".

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that I could find. It was fun looking for all of them, because none of it makes any darned sense :P.

Love thrown away.

I saw this Valentines card lying thrown away in the snow today. And it really hurt me. Someone made the effort to make this card for someone, and the person who received it just threw it away. It really reminds me of my breakup with my ex, since it's pretty much the same deal. It still hurts a lot.

Ahh, sweet relief, how I've longed for the!

So, yeah, that whole thing about me being depressed as fuck over my ex. Totally gone! I'm over her, and I'm feeling pretty damned good! Woooo!

Awesome, right? Totally awesome. Anyway, not a whole lot has been happening with me lately. The long break in posting is due to that whole ex thing, but since early this week, I've gotten completely over it. So now I'm all good again. Ready to start anew and getting back to just being me. I fucking love it!

As I said, not a whole lot has been happening, I've pretty much just cleaned up my apartment a bit and moved some crap out of here. Which is really nice, since my apartment isn't that big. It feels a bit more spacious now. Hmm, right now, in this writing moment, I'm really in a situation where I don't know what to write, so you'll have to bare with me here.

Oh, if there's anything I have done it's watching a lot of movies, mostly comedies for some reason. I've been watching movies that I've heard good things about but never got around to actually see. Until now that is. Other than that, I've gone ahead and bought a fourth copy of one of my favorite games; Resident Evil 4. Although, this time it's on the Xbox 360, and in HD, and I hadn't played it in a while, so I thought: What the hell. Oh and there's also achievements, woo! So I guess I've been playing that as well.

Also, yesterday (Saturday) I met a very nice lady, who I got along really well with. She came over, we watched Paranormal Activity 3 and played some Left 4 Dead 2. After that, we pretty much just talked about random crap for about two hours, so that was awesome. And I'm meeting her again tomorrow, which is also.. You guessed it. Awesome!

Anyway, this post is pointless, but I felt like writing, so there you go.

Post traumatic death syndrome.

That title really doesn't have anything to do with anything at all. It just popped up in my head while I was trying to think of a good title for this post. Funny how that works, eh?


Anyway, nothing is new really, I just felt like writing. Well I guess something is new, but nothing directly related to me. I've just gotten myself some new crap that I'm very happy to own.

So, last Sunday I ordered myself a new laptop and subsequently, on Monday, I went to Malmö to pick it up. While being in the stressful city of Malmö I took a detour into a record store looking for some vinyls. Of course they didn't have anything I was initially looking for, and whenever I found a label of something I wanted, guess what? Sold out! It's not all bad though, because I did find some gems in there, four of them even. I was there with my dad and while I was browsing around their big room of vinyls, my dad yells out "Nine Inch Nails!". Which of course got my attention. It turns out that they had just gotten a copy of The Downward Spiral in, and it seems to be an original 1994 print as well. I'm not sure, but it looks like it could be. On top of that it is in absolute pristine shape too, the cover has no markings or signs of wear and tear anywhere, nor does the actual records. So I grabbed that and I also found a copy of Depeche Mode - Some Great Reward, Depeche Mode - Black Celebration (which I'm listening to right now, Stripped, baby!) and Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells. All those for the price of 414 SEK isn't too bad in my humble opinion. I'm really happy with that purchase.

Behold!

Oh, and on Sunday I'm meeting someone (yes, a lady) I've been talking to on Skype for quite a while. It seems like it could be a lot of fun, since we share a lot of common interests and get a long really well on Skype. So in theory, it seems only logical that it would work out in real life as well. In any case, I'm looking forward to it.

Lastly, this year there will be a list of my favorite games of 2011, unlike last year when I said there would but there wasn't. I just need to finish up some games I'm currently playing so I know what the hell I will be writing about.

Other than that, everything is still pretty much the same. I still miss my ex girlfriend and her adorable kids. I miss them all a lot.

So that's it for this time, I tip my hat to the.

Love - a fucking paradox.

Love can be the most wonderful thing in the world, and it can be one of the most painful.

Such is the life of this shell of a man I call myself right now. As my previous posts has stated, my now ex girlfriend has broken up with me. It has been almost a month since she did, and I am still devastated. I can't sleep, I can't eat and I can't really think of anything else but her. To clarify, this is a woman that I love in the truest sense if the word. I mean LOVE. I absolutely and unequivocally love her. There is literally nothing I wouldn't do to be with her again.

What makes all this so hard for me (except for the fact that she broke up with me) is that I simply don't understand any of it. She literally told me that she loved me the day before she broke up with me. Didn't that mean anything to her? Were they just empty words? How can things change over the course of one night? Adding further to this is that she just doesn't seem to care, not the slightest. Sure, I'm no angel and I said things that probably shouldn't have been said. Still, I'm finding it hard to understand why she now outright refuses to talk with me. No answer when I call, text or e-mail her. Nothing. It's like she simply doesn't care at all about me.

During the last few days, her updates on Facebook suggested with high probability that she has already met someone else. Upon asking her about it in a friendy but direct manner, I simply got threatened instead of getting an answer. I'm definitely no Mr. Perfect but I sure as hell deserve an answer. I haven't really done anything that warrants me being treated like this. All I've ever done is loving her.

If it's true that she has met someone, I can't help but wonder if I ever meant anything at all to her. Because if you say you love someone, how the hell can you forget that person and move on in less than three weeks? Especially when you say that you don't want to be in a relationship right now, and that you need time to yourself. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Unless ofcourse those words meant nothing to her. It also makes me wonder if its someone she met while we were together and straight up lied about it and cheated on me. I seriously doubt that's the case, but at least it would make sense.

Furthermore, it's like she's a completely different person now, like I don't know her at all. Did I ever know her? Was it all an act? Is the person she is now the real her? Or is what I'm seeing now the act?

I'm going out of my mind trying to handle all of it. But the sad fact is that she now doesn't want anything to do with me at all, and I will probably never get the answers I so desperately want. She's ignoring me even though she said she really wanted to be really good friends.

I just can't see a friendship based on lies and secrecy working.

I can really only hope that all of this is just thoughts and speculation. In all honesty, I have a hard time imagining that she would do these things. Stranger things have happened though, and as I said I'll probably never find out.

I just hope that she'll talk to me again some day and maybe then we can sort this whole mess out.

Until then though, I am devastated.